If you're excited about the Clean & Tidy Home Show, you're probably someone who values the joy, ease and harmony you get from having a home space that works for you. You get to feel good inside and outside.

While our physical space is important in supporting our well-being and enjoyment of life, there are other areas which can also have a positive impact when we take the time out to sort through, clear up and get intentional with them.

Life coaching is about helping you get from where you are to where you want to be.  Whether you're unhappy with the state of your home, relationships, physical health, mindset, career or work, we can all benefit from setting aside some time regularly with the intention to tidy up our lives so we're living with the joy, ease and harmony in all areas.  

For example, perhaps paperwork is in piles and causes anxiety and stress (where you are).  Your goal might be to have a specific folder for your paperwork where each type of paperwork has it’s own place, and everyone in the household knows where that is and can find and file things in it easily (where you want to be).

Now ask yourself “What needs to happen to get there?” Break it down into smaller manageable steps. For example:

1) categorise papers

2) pull out and shred/recycle ones that do not need to be kept (out of date or no longer of interest)

3) Identify any urgent or important pieces that need “To be actioned” and keep aside

4) Maybe have a “Not sure” pile that you need to ask someone else for help with

5) Buy a folder

6) Label the folder with categories

7) File the paperwork

8) Action the “to do's”

9) Deal with the “Not sure” pile

The same strategy can be applied to your relationships for whether it's family, romantic, friendship or work.

Identify where you are:

Who brings me joy or a sense of purpose?

Who brings me down and depletes my energy?

Who holds me back from living the life I want?

Do I get energised by having a large network of people or would I actually prefer having a “less is more, quality over quantity” attitude?

Now, what is your goal? How do you want things to be, to best serve you to the life you want to live?

Next step is to ask “What needs to happen to get me there?”

Which friendships do I need to gently let go of?

Which people would I love to spend more time with?

Are there any types of people that I would like to bring into my life that I’m missing eg mentors, people with the same interests as me, like minded people.

Then arrange a time to communicate and action your intentions.

One of the strategies that I encourage couples and families to do is a weekly couples or family CEO time. This isn't a time for you to have fun together. This is the time to discuss any problems concerns, and brainstorm solutions together in a calm manner. So often people try to solve their problems in the heat of the moment when they're emotionally charged. This is usually the worst time to try to resolve conflict!  Each person becomes defensive or attacks to defend. This is not a good recipe for calm, happy loving relationships. By carving out a set time to talk about problems you give yourself and others permission to make the most of your time together all about enjoying each other's company, letting go of anger, frustration or fear just for now.  It's not about suppressing feelings, emotions or needs but making time for them in a controlled way so they don't spill out into daily life day after day.

If you strive to keep a clean and tidy home but you feel your family are a cause of frustration or resentment let's look at some of the beliefs that might be running in your head.  Beliefs are just stories that we hear in our head that give us our emotions.  Those emotions then direct our actions or reactions. So for example, if you hear in your head “He's so lazy, he never helps with the cleaning” that might make you feel undervalued, annoyed and resentful. Your actions might then be to express your annoyance through your words and your physiology.  You might frown.  You might sound unloving or cold.  What kind of message will you be giving your partner and how would they then respond? Perhaps with even more reluctance to help!

So what can you do about it? You can change the story. Imagine if you told yourself a better story such as “Well, he works hard to look after our family, just like me.  He's just tired and I know what that's like”.  How does that belief make you feel?  And when you feel like that, how would you speak and act differently?  Perhaps with more compassion, less frustration or anger?  And then how would your partner respond?  Would they be a little bit more willing to help out?  Does that get you closer to the kind of supportive relationship you would like?

Just as you can be careful and intentional with your home space, you can do the same with all the different areas of your life.  Now wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel joy, ease and harmony in all areas of your life?  Well now, you know it’s possible!

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